You could probably never “train” for this exact situation: Ham vs. Italian Meat Log. I suppose there is some lesson here about improvised weapons, but I don’t know what it is. The story just cracks me up. I guess quick thinking and good punching and a real motivation to not let the thief steal the meat or punch him with the meat log came in handy.

Joe Scola says he heard a noise in his Scola’s Place restaurant in Gloucester, Mass., and saw a man trying to get away with his arms full of meat taken from the restaurant freezer.

Scola says that when he caught up with the man and started taking back his stock, the man raised a five-pound log of frozen Italian meat over his head as if to use it as a weapon.

The restaurant owner had a frozen ham in his hand and slammed it into the man’s face, making a gash. The stunned thief dropped his loot and ran.